There is rarely anyone around me. I spend much time to myself. However, it still gets a little crowded. Everyday, I’m either planning or scheduling what to do next or worrying about the way my significant other feels. It’s a bit tedious. But you have to know that I am happy, and most importantly, I am at peace. I never thought I could find myself writing these words. Peace. What does that even mean? I am not completely sure but I can tell you how it feels. It feels as if I am not waiting for something to sweep me off my feet, anymore. I am conscious of the present moment. I am relentlessly  mindful, as if my life depended on it. Because it does. When I find myself in those moments of fear or anxiety, I can consciously remember to slow my mind. I can then concentrate on the tiniest of things around me. I can smell the essential oils burning in the next room. I can feel the weight of my body on my chair. Most importantly, I can feel the current state of anxiety rushing me to make decisions. My mind is going insane, I tell you. In this moment so much like an overwhelming psychedelic experience I am able to simply step aside of myself and acknowledge the uncertainty. It comes crashing down on my spirit from so many directions and in so many dimensions I was not aware existed. It is in this moment that I can feel myself start to breathe in a much more relaxed way. No more short breathes. It is as if the air is no longer tainted with poisonous thoughts and I can start to breathe normally again. I can inhale deeply. The suffering is subsiding. Not only am I no longer in a state of overpowering negativity, but I am able to slip into a deep sense of calm. I am content sitting alone, with only my thoughts.